Tag Archives: Video

Video Store Stories: Crackheads Do Not Make Idle Threats

I worked at a video store while in undergrad. I have so many stories about it but let me tell you my favorite:

It was a super-busy night at the store and people were all over the floor checking out the movies. I was behind the counter waiting for someone to check-out. I see a man with crazy in his eyes walking towards the counter with two stacks of vhs tapes. There had to be like 20 in his hands! He looked like he hadn’t changed his clothes in days and was angry. As I waited for him to come to the counter I notice him veer towards the exit.

Me: Excuse me sir?!

Him: Shut the fuck up bitch!

Me: Ok. ( I said that in my head but I just turned back to the register and acted cool as a cucumber.)

My assistant manager walked up to the counter right after he left.

Me: A man just walked out with about 20 tapes. He seemed to be on drugs and out of it. 

Assistant Manager: Why  didn’t you run after him?

Me: Crackheads have superhuman strength! No and thank you. He just left and is still probably in the parking lot.

Just as quickly as she ran out to catch him, she came back in bawling her eyes out. She caught up to the dude and he bopped her on the head.

Me: I told you. (I am sure I giggled and rolled my eyes too.)

The lesson here is desperate people do desperate things: (1) This guy was desperate enough to walk into a packed video store and walk out with 20 tapes. (2) My assistant manager was so desperate to keep her job she stepped to a crackhead… and lost. Don’t let this be you.

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Throwback Thursdays!

5 things that stand out to me about this video today:

  1. Rappers were not afraid to dance back then. LL really got down in the group dance scene! I SEE YOU! I am so not mad. I miss a time where men can be hard and still like to dance.
  2. I hope leather kangols will neer come back in style. I remember being a kid and hating them. I would be very upset if they came back again now.
  3. Ladies back then were really all about the catsuit! O_o
  4. The Zack Morris cellphone.
  5. LL was so fine. Like fine, fine. Now he needs to grow back his mustache and stop looking like Mr. “NoneThreatening” Blackman. I mean, I get it, he is trying to get his Hollywood on, but SHIT. I am so not amused

What comes to mind when I hear this song:

My friends and I were walking to a house party in the projects. We lied to our moms and said we were going over each other’s houses. We could not find the party but we walked into a few big ladies that decided to start junk with us. Of course the smallest one of my friends decided to open her mouth: “fuck you, you fat bitch.” We took off running. The ladies ran after us and my friend kept screaming “your jiggling BABY.” They did not catch us. We somehow ended up at some loft party in downtown Providence. We even found someone to give us rides home. To be young and dumb.

 

 

Throwback Tuesdays!

5 things that stand out to me about this video today:

  1. The video models are way less curvaceous than they are now.
  2. GURU looked FINE! I used to think he was sooo fine when I was younger. It really makes me sad about how he died and the whole debacle surrounding his care and abuse.
  3. Everything looks REAL. Like they are on the boardwalk, real people are walking by. The video models look like around-the-way girls. Some of the rappers look like they need a fade. Real people shit. Now when you see videos they are usually set in a club, or by a car, bottles popping, jewels shining and have women that look like they just walked off a King Magazine shoot.
  4. Smooth B looks like THAT dude. Even while watching the video today he still looks like a smooth-ass guy. Like one of those guys that you don’t want to talk to for too long because he will talk you into some crazy shit. He definitely lived up to his name.
  5. The girls on the beach have that permed wet look ala Royce from Basketball Wives. I used to wear my hair like that in 8th grade and I remember one day this guy said “your hair looks ugly like that”. That little mother fucker! I wonder what he is doing now, probably not a COTDANG thing **flips hair**

What comes to mind when I hear this song:

When I hear this song I think of my sophomore year in college. Although at that time, the song would still be considered old, I still loved it. I met my new roommate (now one of my dear friends and comadre) Yaj and we started talking about music. I asked her what her favorite hip hop song was and she said DWYCK. The rest is history.

Hallelujahhhhhhhh!

For some reason when I would hear the Empire state song by JayZ featuring Lil’ Mama, I always thought Alicia Keys was saying:

“hallelujahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, blab blah blah blah where dreams are made of….”

Doesn’t that make sense. I laugh now but it is true. If you follow me on twitter, you know that I make crazy little cartoons. I usually make them from real life conversations I have had. Here is one of my favorites: