Today is my cousin Jessica’s birthday.
I will not say how old she is but she is 11 months younger than me. When we were children when she and I were the same age for a month, we would have the same dialogue:
Jess: I am older than you. Me: No you aren’t Jess: We are the same age today but my birthday is one month before yours so that means I am older now.
This would piss me the fuck off! I have so many stories about Jessica but none tops the one I am going to share today. So here it is:
As children up until 3 years ago, Jess and I have been at each other’s throats. We fought like cats and dogs. We could not be in the same room for more than an hour before we would tear each other to shreds verbally. Three years ago that changed. I was sick of it. I wanted us to be close. I called her and asked her what we could do to change it. I also asked her why, in her point of view, do we argue. This was the first time I listened to her without formulating a response in my head. I just listened. I wanted to understand her…. and it worked.
That same year she came to DC to visit me for a weekend. We had a BLAST. This was the first time we ever spent so much time together and without wanting to choke each other. When she left my bff called me and asked me if I tried to kill her. I was proud to tell her that it was amazing.
Since then Jessie and I have become best friends and I am also her comadre. (Not comrade, comadre.) Not only did she ask me to be her child’s Godmother, she asked me to be the maid of honor in her wedding. I share all of this because this is a clear example of what happens when you decide to get over yourself and get over the feeling of “that’s the way things will always be”.
Sometimes I will tell her stories and say, “remember when…”. She has to remind me that she doesn’t remember when, as we just got close three years ago. Because of lack of communication and resignation we missed out on so much of each other’s lives. We are getting it back and sharing the NOW. I am excited for what adventure we go on next. Check out this video from our last road trip: