F*ck Your Dog

I tweeted about this last week and it happens again. I am not surprised. My coworker is in love with her dog… I have some coworkers that love their cats too but this woman loves this dog. When we go to happy hour she shows pics of him and tells me how cute he is. I am like lady; it is a FUCKING pet… Now this little bastard has a Christmas portrait.

A couple of years ago I hosted Thanksgiving at my place and a friend came over. She did not have a car so I picked her up. At night while everyone was drunk she asks for a ride home. I offer her a cozy place on my couch to which she replies “I can’t Rusty* hasn’t had dinner”. I was annoyed like shit. I mean “Rusty” is a fucking wild animal I am sure he can find something and it was the night of a holiday when the crazies were out. So I begrudgingly give the bitch a ride home…

I say all of this to say FUCK YOUR DOG(S). I don’t want to see pictures of them. I don’t care what they like to eat and what they don’t. Awww, he has a heart condition??? FUCK HIM, he is a DOG. He is a fucking wild animal, set his ass loose. Spare yourself the medical bills. Adopt a kid, how about that?

*Name has been changed

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4 thoughts on “F*ck Your Dog

  1. I feel the same way. My wife tried to be all uppity about her dog when we were dating (incidentally, now she’s my step-dog) … I was like “this shit has to stop”.

    The first time I came to her home, Charlene to wanted show me pictures of the dog (yeah, plural)… while the dog was in the same room with me (?) and the thing is, this dog is mad lazy, so she isn’t even doing anything in the pictures. After looking at a couple pics where the background was different, but the dog was the same (like the Travelocity gnome), I was like “this is the laziest fucking dog on earth!” lol

    I guess my wife really does love me…

    Every now and then one of my in-laws will try to give me a hard time about not treating the dog like a little princess and I’ll say something charming like “man, fuck that dog”… and yet, they still keep coming over lol…

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