A couple of months ago, my boss came to my desk and was having a conversation with me. She looks on my desk and points to a Post-It note that said “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”. I say, “I write things instead of saying them aloud”. She just laughed.  Luckily I am a bit quirky and can get away with it. We had a meeting last week and she dropped the F-bomb and apologized profusely. I told her that it was okay because I just write it. She knew what I was referring to and laughed.

I am so inappropriate, I cannot help it.  When telling friends a story I will just say something inappropriate to see if they were listening. I do it to my mom too. She laughs hysterically. (She thinks I should have either been a comedian or a lawyer… aren’t all lawyers comedians in their own right? **purses lips**) I am on a roll today, seriously. Clear example:

Me: My boss told me that she recognized my hard work and she gave me a hug.

He: See!!! People recognize what you are doing. You will be rewarded.

Me: Thanks. After that I put the machete back in my wardrobe and said to it “later my friend, you will be safe here”. It then said to me, “I’m here if you need me boo”.

My new question is… How in the entire fuck do I turn that into a career! hmmmmm…. **wheels are turning** Say/write inappropriate things and eat candy and go to Zumba and love on people and have cocktails… That sounds like a dope job description. Grrrrrr…

Dear dream job, I love you… Come find me and marry me. I will be your beard if you are gay. –KTHNXBY


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